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"Life broke open a new avenue for my next career. I would tell them, either their past, or the next phase which was to peep in, with my sharp conviction. The news, relating to the note of mirth or the sad episode, would fling into their life according to the Mothers bid with which I used to be prepossessed.
Both men and women would come to see me from nearby, as well as from afar. So many new cases would crop up. There were cases of diseases or accidents or typical cases concerning litigations. After I could tell the truth, forthwith, I used to be entreated for a positive thread of light.
What a forceful demand they used to administer on me! I could not check my emotions too. I had to see varied disorders in my own life. What a tremendous hardship passed on me in the form of gales, and so very often, I had to change my provisional arrangements under different catastrophes! Any sonorous treatment would vibrate within my feelings with all the courses of tears rolling upon my cheeks.
It became quite impossible for me to escape from those ailing and most unhealthy state of affairs in my front. I asked the Mother within me, as to why she had selected me for all those treasures which so very graciously she had stored within my heart.
Nevertheless, I had a very lone atmosphere all around me. An insignificant creature like me could be welcomed by innumerable hands after I had traversed a spacious path besmeared with hate and despise. Regardless of age these villagers used to lie prostrated at my feet for a single change in their untold miseries.
With my prayerful mood I would double up my prayers with a view to flowing within their burning hearts at least a grain of the Mothers blessings. The resultant effect would become, on all occasions, on the even side. Gradually, I had been given recognition as a pious man with the qualities of top pursuits.
There was and as yet it is, there in this Ramanathpur village, a small temple in which a deity of the Kali used to be worshipped. I was given the scope to worship the Mother to my hearts content.
Alas! one day I was taken to task ruthlessly by a few villagers because I had offered the Mother Kali cooked rice at my discretion. To understand the actual significance behind the background was beyond my wit. Nevertheless, I was dragged under their heel because I had broken their convention.
Irritation of those few villagers pitched up higher in order to displace my foundation. The displeasing note reached the culmination and my host was frightened of a terrific outcome if at all I should be given indulgence any further.
The tension was loosened only when I had agreed to conduct myself according to their terms. So to speak, I left the host to his utter pain.
Just a little distance from this temple there was an open space full of bushes and thorns. Seeing a very big tamarind tree I sat under the shade with a heavy heart.
I felt myself forlorn by all means. I could not recollect the touch of depravity I had induced in their convention for which those few flippants could approach me with their sleeves up. There was no strength within me to stop my tears flowing out. I prayed to the Mother for the only fortitude to tide over the situation, and fortunately I was not debarred from getting Her mercy.
The evening with all the black shades, by then, had started spreading upon the earth. The calmness of the evening made those insolent persons reluctant to their provocating attitude and soon a number of people came to my rescue.
By that time the Spirit within me had prompted to bear the ruthlessness with a stout patience. I held my breath standstill when I heard that the Mother would never leave me to be detested by the headstrong people.
I was given the bid by the Goddess Mother that a domestic house should never be a permanent privilege to Sanyasin. It was all for the new trend in my career to be given a shape out of scratch. The Mother focussed within my mind all about Her desire to stay in that speck of land where for the whole day I had retreated and taken shelter out of fear.
Soon the veil of my sorrow got nipped. I was retrieved back to an honourable state by a new set of people. The owner* of that stray land was diffident to express his mind to me straightaway. Nevertheless, I was given a candid assurance that I might acquire that barren land covered with bushes and thorny plants and convert that into a habitable corner.
As proposed, the next day following a few labourers were engaged by the owner to lop off the creepers and other plants to the level of the ground. At the quickest possible time the outlook of the dreadful land got the resemblance of a small Ashrama (hermitage).
Since then it is about 39 years I am staying here as one of their beloved during which period all their series of miseries have brought within me a trend of miseries and their every grain of happiness in turn, has been shared by me as my own happiness.
Everybody in this earth is craving for a state of a consolidated footing throughout the lifelong. On top of all the privileges, the foremost criterion stands sound only where there is at least a thatched hut of its own. A Sanyasin has been an exception to all these domestic scopes. The householders have their families, so, they should stick to a method by which they must be able to synchronise with, and subdue, the hardships and difficulties in their daily life.
But, a Sanyasin has his other philosophy and mode of living. Like a family member he should not be a honeysucker and make a bee-hive. Rather, as a bird lives on the grains it comes across throughout the day long, and as it has to search for those grains by means of hopping over its wings from one place to another, similarly a Sanyasin must be alert on his feet and should traverse the locality only to find out a man in a house who is pure in heart and true to his deeds. As a bird would not know about his fate, so, a Sanyasin also should not accumulate any provision for his next day even. But, I became a queer mixture of materialism and metaphysics, and was passing my days with this type of composition.
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